Me: Hey, turn that off, no tv an no internet until you do some reading.
Lil’ Man: Really? But it’s Saturday!
Me: Sorry bub, I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them.
Lil’ Man: You made that rule!
Me: Err…just go get a book foo’.
Me: Nah, too personal/whiny/preachy/pointless/sentimental/angst-y
Female: I’m just trying to lose a little weight, you know?
Me Externally: Yeah, that’s cool.
Me Internally: R.I.P phat booty. :’(
Is today Oscar night? I swear we only just had one of those.
The Oscars were always really weird to me actually. It’s like, “here’s a gold statue to go with those gagillion dollars you already make.”
Pfft. If I was filthy rich and adored by millions, I’d tell’em to melt that statue and go feed some starving babies or something.
Me: Are they (the banana cookies I made) any good?
Dad: Eh, I guess they’re okay.
*eats six of them.*